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Download Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships by John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop PDF

By John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop

Explores deep intimate own relationships among women and men.

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Additional resources for Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships Between Men and Women (S U N Y Series in the Philosophy of the Social Sciences)

Sample text

He rejects the claim that Eros is primarily sexuality, contending that sexual experience can occur without Eros. He believes, however, that sexuality can be transformed by Eros into a human experience (Lewis 1960, 131–132). When a person is in love, according to Lewis, he or she is preoccupied with the beloved. In fact, he claims that the fact that “she is a woman is far less important than the fact that she is herself ” (133). The lover primarily desires the beloved rather than sexual experience or sexual gratification.

Through Eros, we not only become poets and inventors but also achieve ethical goodness” (78). For May, love becomes personal when it moves from drive or need to desire. Drive and need are physiological urges that push us from behind, whereas desire “pulls us ahead to new possibilities” (310). “If love were merely a need, it would not become personal. . Choices and other aspects of self-conscious freedom would not enter the picture. One would just fulfill the needs. But when sexual love becomes desire, .

Our society doesn’t accept deep personal relationships between men and women that develop outside of marriage. When our deep personal relationship is evident in our we-talk, most people assume that we are more than “just” friends. When Mary and I engage in we-talk, that’s perfectly acceptable, because our relationship is a recognized one. When you and I engage in we-talk concerning the book we are writing or our work at the Free Clinic, that also seems to be perfectly acceptable. But when the we-talk is primarily personal, then the legitimacy of our relationship comes into question.

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